Macklin Paul Huenefeld

Photo by In Laura's Lens

Here's the story of our precious baby, Macklin.

When I last left off, I was 38 weeks pregnant. At my 38 week appointment on Monday, March 30, I was 4 cm and my doctor stripped my membranes in hopes of getting some things going. I had my membranes stripped with Myla since she was late, but it didn't do anything, so I didn't have my hopes up. It wasn't effective this time either. I was barely even crampy. On Thursday, April 2nd, we had an ice storm hit that knocked out our electricity for the night. I had a decent string of Braxton Hicks and my phone was completely dead. I thought for sure I would go into labor then, because there wouldn't be a more inconvenient time than an ice storm, power outage, and dead phones... But nada. I had also had some morning sickness return in week 37, so I thought maybe, just maybe, things were going to happen soon.

Saturday, April 4, brought a couple stronger contractions and a weird back pain. I wouldn't have given much thought to it, except this back pain felt different. It wasn't the typical 9 months pregnant back pain I was used to. It felt like a dull lower back ache, but it was unlike anything I was familiar with. What really got me wondering was the fact that it intensified with the couple contractions that I had. I have never experienced back labor before, so I wondered if maybe that could be what I was feeling. I tried not to get my hopes up, but I really tuned in to everything that my body was telling me.

On Sunday, I hit the 39 week mark. I had a dream in the night that I went into labor and it was a boy. These dreams weren't unusual, but I was having much more that ended with a boy than a girl towards the end. Sunday morning, I still felt the dull ache in my back, but wasn't experiencing many contractions. We "went to church" in our basement via live stream and after that I was feeling ambitious to get this baby moving, so we went for a walk. 2.5 miles later we came home and had lunch and I did a little bouncing on the ball. Around 3:00 pm my contractions really picked up and I started timing them. By 4:00 I was feeling all sorts of pressure. I could tell baby was dropping big time and the back pain was still amping up with the contractions. That's when I finally told myself that I thought it was the real deal. I voiced this to James and Trevin overheard and said to me, "Well, Mom. Have fun screaming." He's precious. I told him "Thanks, but I don't really scream, maybe yell, but not scream.." I finished throwing in the last minute items into my hospital bag and made sure the kids' bag was completely ready to go. I felt really anxious, because I had a hunch that my labor would be similar to Myla's. I thought that at any minute I would have one contraction that would throw me into active labor and I'd be pushing out a baby an hour later. It was a little terrifying; I was worried about whether or not we'd make it to the hospital in time, but it was still a little early to go in at this point, so I kept a close eye on the contractions and was literally ready to jump in the car in an instant. For some reason, I brushed my teeth 3 times. I felt like I should be doing something to prepare, and that's the only thing I could think of. 

I let my mom know that things were progressing, but told her to wait a little bit before coming for the kids. We ate an early supper with the kids and felt like we were just buying time now. The contractions were coming regularly and were consistently strong. We actually drove a few miles down the road to fill up the car with gas because I didn't want to have to do it on the way to or from the hospital. On the way back I had two contractions that were definitely stronger than the others and I made the call to have my parents come for the kids. I didn't want to put them to bed at home and make someone come in the middle of the night, so we opted to have them just stay the night at my parents' house regardless of how the night went.

My parents came for the kids around 7:00 pm. Myla was giddy. Trevin was incredibly sweet to me as we got them ready to go. He came over, kissed me on the cheek, and said, "Be safe, Mom." He left with tears in his eyes. I hadn't realized until then how worried he was for me and for the baby. After Auden, he associated pregnancy, birth, and hospitals with loss and death. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to leave feeling that pain from our past. I felt emotional as I processed that, and it made me long even more desperately to bring a healthy baby home.

The evening was calm. We even watched part of the new Star Wars movie as I walked and bounced and timed contractions. Around 9:30 pm, I felt exhausted and figured it would be good to try and get some rest before the task ahead of me. The contractions were still coming, but they were anywhere from 4-10 minutes apart and 25-60 seconds long. They had been that way all afternoon and evening. (This wasn't unusual to me, because my labor with Trevin was similar.) But it made it hard to know when it was time to head to the hospital. I didn't actually get any sleep, but the contractions continued and I had a couple contractions that were 3 minutes apart so we loaded up and left for the hospital at 12:30 am. We ALWAYS go over to the hospital in the dead of night, so this felt right. We had a good laugh because the song, "Baby Tomorrow" by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors came on in the car on the way to the hospital. It felt prophetic. There would be a baby tomorrow. 

 On the car ride, the contractions continued, but once we got off the interstate things really picked up. I started having one minute contractions every two minutes and pressure. All of a sudden, I panicked and thought "Oh no. It's happening. I'm going to push this baby out in the parking lot or in the hospital lobby." But we made it to the hospital and were screened for Covid-19 before being able to enter. "No, we aren't showing any symptoms. No, we haven't been in contact with anyone who has tested positive." I was checked in at 1:00 am and was at 6 cm. I was here to stay. 

The contractions continued and I thought I'd try the tub for a little while. I wanted to try without the epidural. I had one with Trevin and couldn't get one with Myla because she came so fast. I remember really liking being able to get out of bed so fast after delivery with Myla and I felt like overall, my recovery was smoother. (Granted, Trevin fractured my tailbone so recovery was brutal all around.) Regardless, I wanted to go as long as I could without the epidural. I was at 7 cm, almost 8, before I got into the tub. It was probably around 3:00 am. The water felt nice and I labored in there for about 30 minutes before I started to get the shakes. My entire body went cold and I could feel the transition. I got out of the tub in hopes of warming up. I knew this was the final round. I had flashbacks to Myla's birth and knew we'd be meeting our baby soon. I felt even more pressure and was sure I'd be pushing soon. 

After a little while, the nurse checked me again, 7cm, almost 8. I hadn't changed. My water still hadn't broke so I figured as soon as it did, that would really make things take off. The back labor was rough and it felt good to sit on the birthing ball. But when I sat on the ball it was almost as if my contractions were dying off. So I tried the lunge stairs, hands and knees, lots of swaying, and walking. Contraction after contraction came and went, but I stopped dilating. I was checked at 5:00 am and I was "about 8cm." I'm pretty sure she just rephrased "7 almost 8" for me because I was tired of hearing the same report. I was exhausted, so I crawled into the bed and decided to get some sleep. My contractions continued but they were spaced way out and pretty mild. 

I slept for about an hour and the nurse had been making comments about starting pitocin. I really really really did not want pitocin. Like at all. I requested that the doctor break my water before starting me on pitocin. It sounded like that could be an option. So around 7:00 am I got back up to see if I could get things rolling one more time on my own before the doctor came. The contractions picked up a little, but I felt like I was forcing them along. Just didn't seem like they were doing anything. 

Because of Covid-19 there was only one doctor that was working the hospital each day. It didn't happen to be my doctor. (4 babies and 4 different doctors, I'm really making the rounds.) The doctor on-call had a C-section scheduled that morning so at 9:00 am I was told the doctor would be in after that. A little after 10:00 am, the doctor came in and checked me. I was still at 8 cm and 90% effaced. (Exactly where I'd been since 3:00 am.) The doctor made the comment that my water wasn't even bulging and that my cervix didn't feel like a cervix in labor. Whatever that meant. Obviously, I was too far along for them to send me home and who knows how long it would be before my body kicked back in. She went ahead and broke my water and I felt some relief from the pressure that had built up. My water never broke with Myla and I got an epidural shortly after mine broke with Trevin, so I didn't realize how much liquid there would be. 

Within 20 minutes, the contractions really picked up. I got out of bed and used the birthing ball because these contractions weren't going anywhere. Every time I stood up or sat down or had another contraction, I lost more liquid. I basically ended up standing on a blanket because I was afraid I'd slip on the wet floor. I couldn't believe how much kept coming. The contractions became so fierce. The pressure was extreme. I was struggling to breathe through them and started to feel very... um.. not calm. I wanted to be checked again. I needed to know how soon I'd be pushing. I needed some mental encouragement that I was making progress and was almost there. The nurse said I was at 8 cm. I felt defeated. It seemed as if the end was not actually in sight. Things were still moving slow. I was scared I would stall out again and be laboring in vain. I didn't feel like I had it in me to labor like this for several more hours, not knowing how long it would take to finally get me to 10 cm. A little after 11:30, I decided on the epidural. The contractions were insane by this point. I stopped responding to everyone. Several times, James had to say to me, "Hey. Stay with me." I was so so exhausted from the night and the seemingly pointless contractions I had experienced - contractions that didn't actually get me any closer to my baby. I was shot physically and mentally. 

By the time the anesthesiologist made it in the room, it was a little after noon. I remember noticing it was the same anesthesiologist that helped "deliver" Auden last June. My heart sank and leaped simultaneously. I remember him being such a comfort to me on the hardest day of my life, but it brought up all of the emotion from that day as the memory flooded in. I tried to tune out his voice, because it hurt so bad to hear it. I had thought about Auden several times throughout my labor, but mostly it had been emotionally sweet. Some of the hardest contractions I remember telling myself I was doing this for two babies. One I didn't get to hold and one I would soon be holding. I felt grateful to have made it this far in the pregnancy. I was longing for God's faithfulness to us to be completed in a new healthy life. But as the gentle, kind anesthesiologist administered the epidural, my heart broke for Auden all over again. 

Because of the back labor, the nurse had placed a pillow under one side of my body to help lessen the pressure I was feeling before I received the epidural. I laid back down in the bed and waited desperately for relief to come, but didn't think to remove the pillow I had been laying on and no one thought to tell me either. Around 12:20 I started feeling the numbing, but only on my right side. After a couple contractions, it finally clicked in my brain. All of the meds were going to one side thanks to gravity. I mentioned it to the nurse and we removed the pillow. It was about this time that I knew I was ready to push. My right side felt relaxed and calm but my left was feeling every bit of the pain. The doctor came in all suited up. Because of Covid-19, everyone was now wearing the full getup, including plastic face shields. I started to get the feeling I was toxic, because everyone around me (minus James) was wearing a "hazmat suit."  

I knew it was go time. The urge to push was taking over, and I was desperate to get this baby out of my body. I was still feeling everything on my left side and I became rather, um.. "vocal" through this part. There were some decent yells. I'm sure it was adorable. I'm so glad I knew none of the people around me. I felt like I only pushed a few times before the doctor exclaimed "Heads out! One more big push!" I took a deep breath and knew I was about to meet this long awaited baby. I pushed with everything I had and nothing happened. The baby stopped. It felt like I had slammed into a brick wall. What was going on?? This was supposed to be the big moment! I kept pushing but the baby wouldn't come. There was no relief from the pressure; I was pushing but there was zero movement. The baby got stuck. The doctor said, "Hold on." Then she literally yanked the baby from my body. I SCREAMED. It was horrendous. I have never felt anything like that in my life and I pray to heaven I won't ever again. As she pulled the baby out, the rest of the amniotic fluid shot out and completely sprayed the doctor in the face. I'm sure she was incredibly grateful for the plastic face shield in that moment. 

I felt an enormous relief from the pressure, but had basically stopped breathing after experiencing what I just did. I think I was in shock. I saw the doctor get sprayed, I saw her pull out the baby and lift it up, I knew my child was here, but I was glazed over. The doctor flipped the baby over and said, "It's a boy!" I finally exhaled and my head dropped onto my pillow. She placed the baby on me and I tried desperately to soak in every second, but I felt so stunned in that moment. I was processing everything so slowly. It's a boy. We have a boy. He's here.

The next twenty minutes felt like a blur. I just stared at him; words wouldn't come. He was here. He was healthy. He. It's a boy. I kept repeating those lines in my head. 

Macklin Paul Huenefeld was born at 12:41 pm on April 6th, 2020. He weighed 8 lbs 13.5 oz and was 20 inches long. When I went into labor, I thought this would be my smallest baby, but I was very wrong. I didn't realize just how big he was until the nurse took that picture of us and I realized I had just birthed a toddler. I mean, look at him. He was rotated just so, which caused the back labor. It also meant that he wasn't putting the right pressure on my cervix, which caused the dilation to stall out.  It eventually led to him getting stuck in the birth canal and needing a little "help" getting out. Amazingly, I didn't tear through the process. We paid a lot of money for 20 minutes of epidural relief for half of my body. James was able to cut the cord and just like that, we were officially outnumbered. 

It took quite awhile for it to sink in that it was a boy. Both James and I must have thought it was a girl more than we realized. Several times we just looked at each other and said, "We have a boy!" We couldn't wrap our minds around it. 

After the shock of his birth wore off, I stared at this beautiful boy and the numbness dissipated. The emotion rolled in and I felt every bit of pain and love and ache and joy and sorrow and thankfulness and tears and longing that I had felt over the past two years. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and lifted up so much praise to God. His kindness, His faithfulness, His love, His goodness. It was all so evident in that moment. The path we walked leading up to Macklin's birth grew us in ways we didn't know we lacked. It broke us and made us stronger. 

I didn't realize it in the moment, but Macklin was born exactly 10 months after we lost Auden. June 6th to April 6th. It made me catch my breath to find the connection. It seems impossible and orchestrated and purposeful and providential.

I held Macklin and marveled at his every feature - his chubby cheeks, piercing dark eyes, huge hands,  eyelid roll, squishing arms, tiny toes, precious lips, endless neck rolls, soft skin, furrowed brow, and tender cry. He was perfect. 

Immediately I saw Myla in Macklin. The plump cheeks, his mouth and chin, it was so much Myla. But as soon as I nursed him, I realized his eyes, brow, and forehead were all Trevin. I would get vivid flashes of each big kid as I looked at Macklin from different angles. He was an exact split of them and I loved that. He looked entirely like my babies. He belonged. 

We were able to video call the kids a couple hours later and give them the good news. The nurses had put the hospital hat on Macklin, so when we started the video chat, my mom thought the hat was just pink and made the assumption it was a girl. We had to say it was a boy quickly to set things straight before we confused the kids. (In her defense, the hat does look mostly pink.) When we told them it was a boy, Trevin shouted, "I knew it!" He was thrilled. Myla was still bummed there was only one baby, but she thought he was pretty cute, so she seemed happy enough with another brother. We were all incredibly anxious to get to be home together. 

They had a little concern about Macklin's blood sugar so he got poked a few extra times and did get a tiny bit of formula to help him along. But everything balanced out and he was as healthy as could be. I felt considerably well during recovery and was able to get up on my own and got cleaned up without assistance. My recoveries from delivery seem to be getting smoother with each baby.

The rest of our hospital stay was rather uneventful. With all of the coronavirus concerns, they kept the staff visits to a minimum in our room. And with it being our third baby, we were low-maintenance and they really let us be. We spent the time snuggling our sweet new one, resting, and even managed to finish the movie that we had started the night before when I was laboring at home. It was quiet and peaceful and relaxing.

Our first night was manageable. I slept like a rock in between the baby fusses. I felt decently rested in the morning even though I was going off of two nights of only a couple hours of sleep. When we woke up the next morning, we were eager to get discharged so we could go home to our bigs. 

 Our name search was a strange one this time around. We had more trouble this time than ever before. We had settled on a girl name we both loved in the first trimester, but our boy name was up in the air. I had found "Macklin" fairly early on, but James wasn't sold on it yet. The longer I looked, the more discouraged I felt. Nothing seemed to fit. I kept coming back to Macklin. It was the only one that stuck. As each month passed, James came around more and more to the name. I mean we literally had zero other names on the list of options. And apparently, really deep down we both thought we were having a girl, so we didn't fret too much about the boy name. While I was in labor, I checked with James one more time, "Are you sure you're ok with Macklin? Now's your last chance." For the first time, he actually seemed confident in it and said that it was the one. When Macklin was born, we knew it fit. He was Macklin. 

I had originally found the name on a baby name list after my many many online searches. Instantly, I thought of Parks and Rec - Burt Macklin, FBI. (If you've never watched, it's the name of Christ Pratt's character's character on the show. Confused yet?) I never met my grandpa because he died when my dad was young, but his name was Albert and went by Bert, so I felt like it was a little nod to him, too. After we announced Macklin's birth, my cousin, Seth, was the only person to send me a gif of Burt Macklin. He gets me. Since then, several more people have cautiously questioned me about it, unsure of whether or not I had made the connection before we named him. It's been quite amusing. 

Because we felt unsettled in the name search for so long, we spent very little time thinking about a middle name, mostly because we knew we wanted to use Paul at some point in honor of James's dad. He's a gentle, kind man that is full of wisdom and generosity and we so greatly admire him. We just hoped whatever first name we landed on would sound good with Paul, and thankfully, it did. All of our kids' middle names are in honor of someone very special and we knew we wanted this baby's name to be the same. 

Two hours after Macklin was born, James looked at me and said, "Do you know what his initials are?" I stopped and thought about it. Macklin...Paul... Huen... Oh man, MPH, miles per hour.  I laughed and asked James why he couldn't have thought of that like one day ago. Literally had not even crossed our minds. Oh well. It could be a lot worse. Maybe this will just be a foreshadowing of how fast he will be. 

 We checked out of the hospital about 1:30 pm on April 7th, about 25 hours after birth. We made a stop at Freddy's because mama was hungry and Freddy is the 4th man in my life. Then we headed home to introduce Macklin to his big brother and sister. 

The kids were so enamored with him. They took turns holding him and kissing him. They were beaming.

My mom had brought the kids back home to meet us, so she snuck in some snuggles before leaving. She had made us dinner, did laundry, cleaned, and probably a million other things. We were so thankful.

For the first time ever, James stayed home the rest of the day after bringing a baby home from the hospital. (We manage to have babies at the busiest time of year. It's just what we do.) We spent the rest of the day as the Huenefive and it felt like a dream. 

Trevin barely left Macklin's side in the first 48 hours home. I was shocked at how obsessed he was. He couldn't have been more excited for a brother of his own. He's said so many times that Macklin is his favorite human on the planet. This bond of brothers is already so special. 

Myla loved holding Macklin, but was quickly concerned about how he doesn't play with her. She's had to lower her expectations drastically. Her baby-talk to Macklin is the greatest thing. 

The first days at home with a newborn are always such a blur. I was so caught up in watching every facial expression or witnessing every sibling exchange that all the moments bleed together. James had three really busy days after we got home from the hospital before we had some snow hit. I remember being home alone with all three kids and feeling like everything was smooth. I had freezer meals ready and we were all in the sweet honeymoon phase of a new baby. James had a break after that little work rush and we had some really nice quiet hours together as a family. Of course, there was plenty of coffee, which was helpful.

Macklin:

 • Loves getting his diaper changed

• Hates getting his clothes changed

• He's not sure how he feels about the bath

• Tolerates the pacifier

• Loves to eat

 One week old

Since having him, my citrus craving has settled, but I forgot how hungry I am when I'm nursing. Give me all the snacks. 

He has certainly brought us a lot of laughs.

 2 Weeks Old

He goes by Macklin, Mack, Macky, Big Mack, Mack Man, Mac-n-cheese, and Mack-Pack (those last few are courtesy of his older brother.)

Macklin is a great eater, by that mean, he was wants to eat all the time. Macklin had an appointment when he was 4 days old and had dropped all the way down to 8 lbs 2 oz. My milk had just come in the day before, though, so I was confidant he'd gain the weight back soon enough, but I didn't realize just how much weight he would gain. He's now weighing in at a whopping 12.5 lbs at 6 weeks. He's gaining almost a pound a week. We've flown through newborn clothes and diapers and have started putting several 0-3 month clothes into storage. I just used up the last of the size one diapers and I'm hoping for less blowouts in size two. 

He's been a big eater since day one. For the first several weeks, he wouldn't go longer than 1.5-2 hours between feedings. He started to differentiate night/day a couple weeks in and would go 2.5-3 hours at night, but still 1.5-2 hrs during the day. On Mother's Day he did his first ever 5-hour stretch at night and I woke up and told him that was the best gift in the world. At 6 weeks old, we're starting to be able to stretch out a few of the feedings and he's giving us 4-6 hours at night, while the daytime feedings have been more consistently 2-3 hours apart. I think we've made it to life that's a little more manageable.

One Month Old

I knew he was gaining weight fast, but I couldn't stop laughing at this three-week transformation, from one week to one month. He ate my baby.

He's rolled several times from his tummy to his back, but I'm pretending it didn't really happen, because it was for sure an accident.

He's such a snuggle bug and it has been so much fun loving on him. He may not have met as many people as our other kids did by 6 weeks, but I can guarantee he's getting just as many kisses. 

He struggled to burp for the first several weeks. It meant hours and hours of burping him. He hated being laid down flat, so he got held a lot. He's been doing much better the last couple weeks. He doesn't love the wrap baby carrier, but really likes our buckle carrier. He spends a lot of time in it when I'm busy and falls asleep 90% of the time. We're both fans of that. 

Around 4 weeks he started to coo and it's really picked up in the last two weeks. He's also been flashing us smiles when we talk to him. He's happiest first thing in the morning and usually gives the best smiles and coos then. Have I mentioned that newborns are my favorite? 

Myla's days of holding Macklin may soon be over. He takes up her entire lap and more. We have such a great batch of siblings and I love getting a front row seat to see their relationships form.

He's been the sweetest addition to our family. 

He has way less hair than the other two had when they were born. Mostly just has the hairline of an old man on the back of his head. His hair is much lighter than the other kids' was, too, which makes me wonder if he's going to be blonde. (And take a look at those neck rolls and tell me how I'm ever supposed to keep all of them clean?!)

6 Weeks Old

 Over the past few weeks, Macklin has been able to meet grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins. It's looked a little different and some of the introductions have been delayed, but we're glad everyone is finally getting to meet him. 

Obviously, Mack has been the biggest highlight of the past two months, but we have had some other special memories, too!

Easter

We celebrated Easter a few days after Macklin was born. James suggested we do something to make the day special since we wouldn't be gathering with family or going to church. We decided to make donuts and made them look like the empty tomb. We had small Easter baskets for the kids and did what we could to center our day around celebrating the resurrection. 

This is what church looked like for us for 10 weeks. Macklin's first church service was Easter Sunday in our basement. My hope all along was to have this baby's first Sunday be Easter Sunday, and while I was glad it turned out that way, I couldn't help but feel sad we couldn't be gathered with our church family, celebrating Easter and the new life in our family.

We're SO thankful to get to go back to church THIS Sunday! We've missed that place and those people.

Trevin's 8th Birthday

Trevin's birthday party with his friends got cancelled right after all of the guidelines were put out, and we weren't able to have any family over on the day of. The themes of this season have been flexibility and making the most of the situation. Trevin was a trooper and found joy in the small things. We decorated the house in Mario Kart and watched him light up at his new Star Wars Lego set. 

Trevin helped set up the table decorations and made a red turtle shell out of a strawberry. 

Trevin had his Zoom class that morning and his teacher surprised him during the call with a gift and balloons left on our porch. I wish I would have snapped a picture, because it was adorable and incredibly special. 

He had a couple video chats with family and several more gift drops at the door. 

Ashton made him a special cake and it was the perfect way to finish the day. 

He's so witty and smart. He's responsible and looks out for others. He is focused, determined, and independent. He loves Hank the Cowdog, Legos, Minecraft and rice. He's funny and loves to make people laugh. He's one-of-a-kind.

Happy 8th Birthday, bud. 

Girls Night/Boys Night

With all of the changes that took place in a short period of time, we knew the kids needed some extra one-on-one time with us. James decided to take Trevin out to the pasture one Saturday afternoon. They spent the day fishing, hunting, exploring, and setting up camp. They cooked their supper over a campfire and spent the night in a tent. They had a great time and came back the next morning smelling like nature. 

Macklin was only a couple weeks old, so our girls night was limited, but Myla and I stayed home and played babies and snuggled up and watched a movie together and had all sorts of "special" snacks. It wasn't much, but both kids felt special and had some great memories. 

James and I both felt the instant pull of having three kids. We are now in zone defense and we understand the importance of taking intentional time with each kid when we get the chance.

Grandpa Nuss

About a week after Macklin was born, my grandma called me to congratulate us. I had such a nice chat with her and told her we really wished we could bring him to meet her and grandpa. Later that night, Grandpa had a bad fall and ended up in the hospital. Long story short, his lungs were in bad shape and we quickly knew this would be the end. He was placed on comfort care a few days later. Initially my Grandma wasn't able to be with him, but was eventually allowed to stay with him. This was during the height of social distancing and we took shifts visiting him and my grandma from outside the hospital window. It was difficult to say goodbyes that way. I hated it for all of us. He was unconscious while we were there, which maybe made it easier... and harder. He passed away a couple days later, and then came the uncomfortable process of planning a funeral in the midst of a pandemic. 

The visitation happened in shifts. The funeral was live-streamed and all of us grandkids sat in our cars outside of the mortuary and at the cemetery. It felt so bizarre. It felt gross. A man that created such a remarkable family for me to grow up in should have been honored in a great way. We all sent grandma pictures of us from our cars so she knew we were there with her. It didn't come close to the hugs she should have received.

It was difficult to process everything that happened; I was freshly home from the hospital with a new baby and everything was still in lockdown and now I was supposed to mourn the only grandpa I've ever known without the closure of a physical service, special gatherings, or sharing stories with my family. It just happened and it was over. There are plans to have a memorial this summer as a family when we can all be together. I'm desperately awaiting this gathering. A time to bring honor and closure to my grandpa's life.

There’s a lot I could say about Martin Nuss. He was one of a kind. He started this crazy close-knit family and he is most definitely to blame for the unexplainable humor found in our genes. He was dangerous with a tea towel and had a love for professional wrestling that certainly inspired the moves he used on us growing up. When Grandpa entered the ring, we knew we were toast. He was a tough cookie. I wish my kids could have known him the same way I did. They would have been better off if they had. He was ornery and stubborn and the most perfect grandpa. I often mumble a “dunna vetta” in his honor. 

I have several special gifts that my grandpa made me when I was young. One is a wooden rocking chair that I received for my birthday. He also made me a wooden table and chairs for my dolls' tea parties. He was a special grandpa. This world won’t be the same without The Martin Nuss. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for making this family what it is today. You will be missed.

Last Day of School

School wrapped up at the end of April. We had closing chapel on a Zoom call and were able to watch the school year's slideshow. We were both emotional as we closed the computer that night. It was another thing that seemed to not have much closure. All of a sudden, one day, Trevin just didn't go back to school and life got weird and now school's out for the summer. So many special things were cancelled like the musical, field trips, parties, track meet, and the fishing trip. 

We dropped off a present for Trevin's teacher last week. I was so glad he got the opportunity to see her again, even just for a couple minutes. She's still planning an end of the year party for them when things open up and I'm sure Trevin will be counting down the days until he can see his classmates again. 

His report card came yesterday and it looks like this kid is moving on to third grade!

Trevin:

In Laura's Lens

• Trevin has spent the majority of this extra time at home to work on his Lego sets. He's been building every single set and bagging them up, checking for missing and broken pieces. I'm not exaggerating when I say he's been working in his room for WEEKS. He's on the final sets this week and I honestly don't know what he's going to do with himself when he finishes this project. 

• He's starting to tag along with James more around the farm. His biggest job so far has been helping to service pivots. James has been letting him drive the 4-wheeler and it freaks me out. He's also been in charge of watering the grass we seeded in our yard this spring and keeping the garden watered. Being a big kid comes with big responsibilities and he's proving his ability every day. One day he got to go with James to help pour cement at CRC with a pretty fun crew. 

• He's been helping me in my flower beds this spring. He's learned about peonies and hostas, which he refers to as weenies and pasta. He's always giving us a laugh. 

• It's been so wonderful having him around in this season of life. He's helpful and really smart and we're just enjoying being together. 

Myla: 

In Laura's Lens

• Myla immediately seemed so big when we brought Macklin home. She took on some new roles of independence and maturity. She's as sweet as sugar and we are constantly doting over her. She's so silly and brings enormous joy to our house. 

• She's had the most to adjust to. She was used to it being just her and I all day, every day. All of a sudden, Trevin was home, we stopped going anywhere, and a few short weeks later we added a baby. She's done really well, but we've tried our best to give her some extra love lately. 

• She loves being outside and loses her shirt every day. 

• She's processing the quarantine better than I imagined she would. She prefaces a lot of things with, "After the coronavirus, can we..." She's looking forward to so many things after this is over. (On the other hand, Trevin mainly just wants his swimming lessons to get cancelled.)

• She likes having one baby, but two babies are even better, so holding twins may have been the highlight of her week. The few times we've seen people, she's gotten incredibly sad when they leave. She misses her friends and is ready to get back to her social life. 

Myla's 4th Birthday

Myla turned four this weekend! 

She requested a strawberry party months ago, so we did our best to make it berry cute.

She got a polaroid camera and has taken loads of selfies with it already. 

We were able to have some family over to celebrate with us. Ashton made the cake again and I'm so glad I have a baker in my pocket. I don't know that I offer anything of worth to her, but she's invaluable to me! She always makes our Pinterest cake dreams come true. And to top it off, her gift to Myla was a Disney princess cook book, a homemade Elsa dress apron, and a day of baking with Ashton. How amazing is that? 

Myla grinned all day and said it was the best birthday ever. We love our little lady and could seriously celebrate her every day. 

Happy birthday, sweets. You are so precious. 

Home/Farm

Planting season is finally underway on the Huenefeld farm. That means the kids are getting in some tractor hours with James, especially when he's in the backyard. He finished popcorn yesterday and has a couple days of beans left. I've managed just fine so far with the long hours and solo-parenting three kids, but planting season isn't our busiest time. Check back with me in June and see if I'm surviving. 

It's not uncommon for exchanges to look like this. A quick hug and kiss, hello and goodbye. We all miss our guy when he's gone, but the moments we're together make up for it ten-fold. There's rain in the forecast, so we're looking forward to some quiet days ahead. 

In the midst of all the chaos of the last two months, our garage door broke. And then our front door handle. The feeling of being "locked down" was starting to take a dramatic turn of reality. A new garage door was ordered and the front door was fixed. We're still trying to figure out exactly what we want to do with the exterior of the house, but this was a step in the right direction. And I'm thinking the basketball hoop needs to be moved now that we have windows and a brand new door... 

Mother's Day 2020 as a family of 5! It was a little bittersweet because Macklin should have been dedicated on that day at church. We really look forward to it getting rescheduled and celebrating his little life. 

We had some newborn pictures fall through for Mack because of the social restrictions, so we opted for a small mini session with our friend, Laura Oswald. She made it super easy and snapped some sweet photos. I really enjoyed not being behind the camera and the kids actually had a blast. Trevin asked if we could take family pictures like that every time. Apparently it's not as fun when I'm yelling at everyone to smile and look at the camera and hold still and don't do that... yeah probably not as fun.

We decided to take the pictures in our front yard. I really wanted to savor us in this season and we spend a lot of time in the yard right now.

Notice our sweet little blueberry around my neck.

Macklin cried through most of the session, but honestly, that's life right now and it doesn't bother me one bit. He usually wears a grump face, so the pictures captured him perfectly.

 

Seeing pictures of my babies holding my baby makes me want more babies. But don't tell anyone I said that.

James and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage this year. Looking at these pictures of our family, this is exactly the dream I had hoped we would have. Our life is incredibly sweet. We've done easy, we've done hard, we've done big, we've done small, we've done happy, we've done sad.
We've done it together and it's been perfect.

Whew. I made it to the end and it only took me 6 weeks. 

Now please excuse me, I've got a baby to feed. 

Huenefive, growing on the farm...