"I don't know why I'm crying!"

 

We hit 16 weeks this week! Only about 24 until our little one will make its big arrival.   Our next appointment is November 21st to make sure baby is growing properly.  And December 5th we have our next ultrasound where we will (hopefully) determine if we're having a wee lad or lassie! Right in time for Christmas! I've heard the majority of people think it's a girl, (I think that's only because I have 2 nephews, no nieces, and James has 5 nephews, and 1 niece.  Girls are certainly outnumbered in the next generation, so far.) James is convinced it's a boy, (probably because that's what he's desperately hoping for, growing up with 4 sisters, he already thinks that there's too many girls in the world.) :)  I, on the other hand, have no idea or hunch of whether it's a boy or girl.  And really don't have a preference, because honestly it wouldn't matter what I wanted, it's not my decision to make. haha   I think that James and I are both ready to find out, though.  It will just be one more thing to help us wrap our minds around the fact that we are parents.   We're going to keep the name a secret until the baby arrives, but we've been attempting to brainstorm possibilities.  So far we only have one girl name picked out and are struggling to agree on even a letter for a boy name. haha I'm not too worried.  We still have 5 months until it really matters.  And even then my nephew didn't have a name until his second full day of life. So, apparently, there's no rush! :)

Lately, we've been pretty focused on getting the house ready for baby. There was some painting that we were needing to do, and those projects have been rushed now because we're hoping to have them done before we add a new member to our family. Our first project was painting and reflooring the office, (which is almost done!) Next we have a few accent walls to paint and a hallway, before we start the major renovation of our basement. I've come to realize that the chance of it being completed before the baby comes, is very slim. While freshening up the house, I've also been trying to get in touch with my creative side, which is rather difficult at times. Thanks to Pinterest, I've been able to do some pretty easy projects that are well worth the time and effort. Of course, there's the hoop art, which has boosted my confidence in diy projects. And there's also fall decorations. A friend, Nicole, and I had a good time decorating pumpkins, since neither of us can carve them. :S We sprayed them with gold glitter spray and glued on sequins and jewels. They turned out really fun! Soon we'll have to start worrying about baby-proofing the house and setting up the nursery. Pictures to come!

Besides my clothes starting to not fit and more pressure to my bladder, it's really pretty easy to forget that I'm pregnant.  My belly is a helpful reminder, now that it sticks out farther than it ever has in my life.  But my latest pregnancy symptom is my emotions.  They are out of control at times.  There are days that I wake up and I already feel like I'm fighting tears back.  And I have no idea why I'm upset! Thankfully I do alright making it through the day, especially when there are people around.  I can usually hold myself together pretty well.  But as the day ends, at some point they just come.  Poor James, he tries so hard to help. Now that I think about it, I'm laughing, but I do feel bad for him sometimes.  He tries to comfort me and asks me what's wrong. And usually I reply with something like, "I have no idea, I just can't stop crying." At this point I even try to think of something I can be sad about, and I can't come up with anything. And when I feel like the episode is over, I try to breathe and sometimes another run of chaotic tears come. Even I'm confused by this point and when he asks me this time why I'm crying, I've been known to say, "I'm just so tired of crying." And that is why I'm crying.  haha We can usually laugh about it the next day when I'm feeling much more stable.  He's learned that some pregnancy days, I'm just going to be sad. And I may not have any rational idea of why, but I'll just be sad.  He's a good sport. It would be pretty easy for him to just ignore me on days like that, but instead he pretends that he cares about my unstable emotions.  What a good guy! Now this also means that I have days where I'm extremely happy.  It's these days that I usually keep James on his toes because he thinks I'm up to something.  When he walks in the door and I am just so happy that he's there, I can't even stop smiling, he almost sneaks in the house as to watch for a trap somewhere.  It's also days like this where he doesn't think anything is as funny as I think it is. So I laugh with myself a lot, and he just shakes his head. Now that you think I've completely lost it, I'll let you know that I do have normal days.  Most days are normal and I'm just very content. It's these days that I can laugh at the situation and be grateful for the person God has helping me.  I couldn't have asked for a better husband, partner, and friend.  

I saw our boots sitting at the back door the other day and it made me stop and think.  I could almost picture another pair of tiny boots next to mine.  It's crazy.  Sometimes James and I feel like we've been robbed of our time together, just the two of us.  But God knows what he's doing and we know that we're in His hands, no matter if there's two of us, or three or four or five... We were blessed with four great dating years and now 9 months of marriage to ourselves. He's been preparing us all of these years, knowing that with His help, we will be able to handle it.

When you can't feel God moving in your life, it's scarier than when He's moving your life too fast. Being led to a knew place is far more comforting than being lost in a familiar place.



tears and smiles, growing on the farm...

Goodbye first trimester! Hello maternity clothes!

 James and I went to our 10 week ultrasound three weeks ago...I'm a little late updating. :S Anyways, as you can see, baby's growing!!! Fast! It was amazing that in three weeks time it went from being a blob on the screen to a moving child.  We could make out the hands and feet and got to see it squirm.  We watched it for a few minutes and it did not stay still for a single second.  If this continues, James and I will certainly have our hands full!  The bottom picture is in 3-D.  You can see the head towards the top.  At our first ultrasound we were able to hear the heartbeat, but being able to make out the baby and hear the heart beat at the same time was just incredible.

Next appointment is Monday! 

 Here's week 10 photo! It's actually 3 weeks old now as well, and I'm wondering how I'm ever going to keep up with baby pictures once the baby is here if I can't even keep up with them now! :)    I'm growing fast and putting clothes to the back of the closet.  I can't fit into a pair of jeans already, and all of my shirts share my growing tummy with the world! I've gained about 10 lbs already but expecting 25-30.  I'm loving every second of it though and wouldn't trade it for anything.  I've been trying to do a lot of reading and I've learned so much, still sometimes crazy to believe that it's really happening.   As many people say, the baby sucks your brain cells.  I believe this to be true with all of my heart, because I have done some pretty ridiculous things lately.  Like washing a load of laundry and realizing when I throw it in the dryer, that I never put in the soap.  I also feel a step behind in every conversation I have.  I'm like the person that hears a joke and laughs 5 minutes later because I finally get it. Everything just functions a little bit slower these days... except for the baby that is.  We're in the last week of the first trimester!  It seems unreal that we are already 1/3 of the way there. We'll be able to find out if it's a girl or a boy in a couple of weeks, by week 20 for sure. Apparently our baby is almost 4 inches long this week! It also has fingerprints now and the bones have begun to harden.  It is constantly in motion and for the sake of my sleep I'm okay with the fact that I can't feel it yet.  I'll appreciate that when the time comes. I'm up at least once a night to use the bathroom and I always look down the hall to the nursery and try to fathom that in a few months I'll be up for a needy baby.  God is whipping me into shape already! It should be such an easy transition, right? :) 

I thought that I would share some baby pictures of James and I.  We are a little bit older in these pictures but it was still fun to look at nonetheless. We're getting so excited to meet our little one! 

Getting closer, growing on the farm...

I'll take three large orders of mozzarella sticks please.

 9 Week Photos!!! My tummy seems to protrude more and more each day!  Soon any tight fitting shirt will tell it all! Sometimes if I stand just right I can't see my toes.  What a scary thought!


I realized that I never mentioned the due date.  April 20th is National Pot Day and my due date! Fortunately only 5% of babies are born on their due date. I would not be disappointed if my child is part of the 95%. :)
We're at 9 weeks now! Next checkup will be Monday.  Still no morning sickness which hopefully means I lucked out and will not be able to experience that wonderful part of a pregnancy.  I have had some other signs of pregnancy, though. The main issue is with smells.  Not often do smells bother me like most pregnant women, but I smell things that aren't really there.  For a few weeks I kept complaining to James about something being rotten in our freezer.  After a while he finally checked and found nothing of a sort, he emptied out any possible culprit from the fridge and figured that should solve the problem.  But it didn't. I was tasting garlic in my ice cubes.  Every time I would get ice for my water I would end up dumping the ice out and just getting water because it smelled and tasted like garlic.  I told James that there was still something rotten in the freezer, and he asked why I thought so.  I told him about the garlic ice and he gave me a strange look.  He took a glass of water and added ice to it and drank it.  "See what I mean?! Isn't it awful!" I said to him, expecting the same reaction.  He laughed and said he had no idea what I was talking about.  I tasted from the same glass and got frustrated, "How do you NOT taste that? I can hardly swallow it!"
This was the first episode that made me realize that my nose is deceiving me.  Since then I've even tried to put our ice in Dr. Pepper and I can still taste a hint of garlic....and I know that garlic is not one of the original 23 flavors.
My next encounter with this was when I was driving to school one day.  I was just south of Walmart on Hwy 34 about a mile when my car filled with the smell of roasted peanuts.  Now this wasn't anything like, "I think I smell roasted peanuts..."  It was more like, "Why in the world are there roasted peanuts in my car?!"  The smell then went away a few miles later.  (I had the same thing happen with the smell of a fresh perm this week on the way home from school)
The last incident was the most cruel of all.  I walked in the door of my house after eating at James' parents' house yesterday and I was sure that James surprised me with a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts (glazed, for sure) The smell was so strong and I got so excited.  By the time I got to the kitchen the smell was gone and I felt so silly for being fooled once more.

I've also had some pretty severe cravings, (which James believes are just my way of getting what I want, I hope someday he learns that cravings are a very serious issue haha.)  First all I wanted was fried food, especially mozzarella sticks from Arby's.  Oh man, I really could have eaten them for breakfast if I was allowed to.
Next I wanted a lot of bananas...I bought a huge bundle of 7 or 8 bananas and they were gone in 2 days.  I think James did eat 1 or 2 though.  :)  I also haven't wanted meat really at all.  Which is so weird to me, because the best part of a meal is the meat! And now it just doesn't sound that good to me.  One night last week James was going to throw some steaks on the grill and asked me how big of one I wanted.  My response was, "Um, well...I think, maybe I'll just have a PB & J or something, steaks don't sound very good." Needless to say it might take him a while to get used to my new strange eating habits.

You might wonder what I do now that I'm pregnant...well besides school and keeping up with the house, I did a 750-piece puzzle!  "And what does James do now that you're pregnant?" you may ask. Well besides farming and....farming, he fishes! Some things in life will never change.










life continues, growing on the farm...

Baby bump?!?!

First purchase for baby! It was a weak moment and it was on sale. Fortunately Husker gear is unisex, and the only thing I'm actually allowed to get right now.  It's been fun being able to browse through the baby section and let my imagination run wild.  I had it hanging in the dining room for a few days and James kept making comments about how strange it was to see baby stuff floating around the house.  He's slowly making the adjustment!

This was the baby's first gift! From Auntie Nicole.  She, too, was having difficulty controlling herself in the baby section. :)  We laughed pretty hard about the truth to this "volume control."  Hopefully it's not faulty!

Here's my 6-week picture! It was taken on September 3, 2011.  So it is actually over a week old.  I had to laugh, I've had two comments over the last two days about starting to look pregnant.  One was from my sister, Brooke.  As I walked out of the kitchen with yet another plate of food, she noted, "I think she's starting to show.  How far along is she!?"  We laughed and decided that I'm showing more that I think I should be....but you'll probably hear that from most pregnant women! 

The next day we got out of the car and James quietly said, "Yeah, you're starting to look pregnant." Apparently I can't get away with much now. The baby bump has officially started.  I know that people (that don't know I'm pregnant) will start wondering if I'm gaining the freshman 15...and then they'll think maybe she got the freshman 50! I think I'll let them toy with that idea for a while. ;)

Now everyone asks me, "How are you feeling, dear?"  Well to answer that question for all of you.  I'm really tired and I have to pee all the time.  But other than that, I'm doing great! (Well kind of...more on this later)  I haven't experienced any morning sickness yet, a few times I felt like I've had an upset stomach, but honestly it hasn't affected me much.  Sometimes I forget I'm even pregnant! Like when I was telling my mom that we should go to worlds of fun and ride all of the rides...she reminded me pretty quick that I'm not the only person I have to think about now. :)  I also tried to use Brooke's weighted hoola-hoop, which is supposed to help you work your stomach.  Brooke stopped me before I even got it past my knees and told me that using it was not a good idea.  I'm so glad for all the people watching out for me! Hopefully I grow a brain and start thinking for myself, but like they say, the baby sucks all your brain cells.  I've already had a few moments like that. Usually turns out pretty embarrassing.

You may wonder how the baby news has affected James and my relationship.  Well needless to say, we are still very much newlyweds.  Enjoying every minute together and having way too much fun.  Life is going on with another adjustment to make and we're happier than ever. 

Now, to expand on my health issues...  Thankfully the pregnancy hasn't had a thing to do with any of them!   Well I had three massive blisters on my feet from wearing high heels, (obviously I don't wear them much thanks to James' height!) They were ridiculous, I couldn't even let them touch the blankets when I slept because they stung so bad.   

Okay so that wasn't a major health issue, but it started the wear down of my body.  My next issue was my eyes.  Ever since the week of our wedding one of my eyes has been getting really red for a few days and then it goes away for a week or two.  I just thought it was my contacts so I kept changing them until last week my eye got really really bad.  So I scheduled an appointment at the family doctor to see what was wrong.  He said that they couldn't do anything for my eye and he didn't even know what it was, so I was supposed to go to my eye doctor.  So we called the eye doctor and told them what was going on and they told me to go straight to a specialist.  I finally got in and found out that I had an infection in both eyes, and couldn't wear my contacts for 2-3 weeks.  Well my glasses prescription is about 2 or 3 prescriptions old.  I don't even feel comfortable driving in them because when I want to pass, I can't tell if there's another car coming until LAST MINUTE.  It's dangerous, so I don't pass now.  :(  

As if that's not enough, I was in a wedding this last weekend and was helping decorate on Friday.  I ran home to grab another strand of lights and I backed into a piece of glass/mirror.  I sliced the back of my thigh pretty good.  Thankfully my mom was with me and bandaged me up a little.  James came and got me and took me to the ER.  Half-hour later I had 6 stitches and had missed rehearsal dinner.  My leg was pretty sore all wedding day, and still is pretty tender.  Now I have to go back in another 10 days to get them removed.  

So not only am I going to the doctor for Baby, I'm going to fix eyes, and get stitches removed.  Hopefully this is the last of the health issues for this pregnancy! 

We went in for what they thought was our 8-week ultrasound when in reality it was our 6-week.  We got to hear the heartbeat and and see the baby for the first time.  How incredible!  I think things really start to set in when you hear that tiny thump-thump-thump-thump, going faster than you ever imagined.  My mom thinks that the baby looks like Grandpa Kliewer.  :)   We're looking forward to the next visit on Sept. 26.    

Pray for us, growing on the farm.

The unexpected expecting.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

James and I were extremely shocked to find out that we were expecting.  In no place of our imagination had we planned for this to happen, especially this soon.  We hadn't fully adjusted to married life, and now we were being thrown another new and crazy adventure.  We didn't know whether to laugh or cry, be scared or excited, be proud or frustrated, be anxious or motivated....so we just did it all! 

We realized that it was a blessing behind a screen.  We could make out the greatness of it, but the details were fuzzy.  God showed us that He is gracious and abundant, no matter the mark on our timeline.  We cannot even begin to compare God's timeline to our own, for God does not live by our time, nor we by His.  But He bridges the difference to provide harmony among His children and Himself. What a wonderful God we serve. 

The hardest part so far of being pregnant is mentally preparing myself for raising a child, (ask me in a few week/months, after I've experienced morning sickness, back pain, the labor itself and wearing out the carpet on the way to the bathroom.) It is hard to grasp that in a few short months, I will be responsible for another human life.  I'm convinced that life will change for good.  James is already learning the new baby language and trying to understand this entirely new world.  He's going to be a great dad.  I have no doubt in my mind.  If we have a boy, he'll love the dirt and will be found in the tractor with Daddy all the time.  And if we have a girl, she'll love the dirt and will be found in the tractor with Daddy all the time. It couldn't be any different.

Our dearest child,

We are so very anxious to meet you! God has made you so wonderfully, and we thank Him every day for that.  You are loved so much by Mommy and Daddy.  We're praying for you sweetheart. 

Here we go, growing on a farm...

What a wonderful moon, honey.

James and I spent a week in Colorado for our honeymoon.  We spent most of our time in the Woodland Park area.  The first three nights we had an adorable little cabin rented.  It was really out in the woods and very relaxing.  We grilled burgers and steaks for most meals.  

Our cabin was about 8 miles from any town, the nearest being named, Divide.  We'll remember Divide mainly because of the restaurant that we tried.  It was called McGentry's Wood Oven Pub.  They did brick oven pizza just like James' parents do.  The pizza was really good! It got us dreaming about starting our own Brick Oven restaurant in Stockham.  Who knows, maybe it will become a reality. :)  

We also spent a day in Manitou Springs, where Summit Ministries is located, (a Christian world view seminar that James attended one summer.)  Manitou is a tourist town, so it has an endless amount of cute stores to check out.  Also they have some of the best frozen custard (for James) and fudge (for me!)  

The weather in Colorado was great.  It was very hot for the area, but coming from NE's July heat and humidity, it felt great!  It seems to rain every day there mid-afternoon for about a 1/2 hour.  Unfortunately, we ran into the afternoon shower as we were visiting the Garden of the gods.  God's beauty was still very evident, even through the rain.  

We were also able to drive to a place called 11-mile Reservoir.  We somehow found the longest route to get there, going through any possible mountain in sight.  It took 2 hours to get there, and we found a hwy that helped us get back in 1/2 hour.  :)  It was fun being able to slow life down a little, and we even found a bunch of donkeys on the road!  

We decided to voyage up the infamous Pike's Peak.  It took about an hour an a half each way.  The drive up was so beautiful I wouldn't have even needed to see from the top, but that really added the cool whip to the top of the pie.  It was so amazing to see God's fingerprints in other areas of the country. We almost get used to the beauty right here underneath us.  The crops, trees, sunsets and sunrises,  they are all wonderful...but I needed to see the mountains to make me grateful for the beauty in my backyard.  We were created by a wonderful God!

Our last night was spent in a nice hotel in Colorado Springs.  I was in much need of something a little more elegant than the cabin. The next morning we started the long drive home. About 8 hours.  As we pull in the driveway we hop out of the car, only to go back to open it realizing that the doors had locked and ALL of our stuff was still in there.   So we try to get into the house and we can't find the house keys anywhere in the garage! So for the first few hours after getting home we were locked out of our car and our house.  Thankfully I can look back now and have a good laugh.  

I hear the wedding bells...

James and I started dating on July 16, 2007.  We were considered very young, especially for a serious relationship.  We knew that God had great plans for us; we just needed to wait and see what that was.  Well, on February 17, 2011, James proposed.  We planned to get married on our anniversary, (so James wouldn't have to learn a new date!)  This gave one day short of five months to put the wedding together.  It wouldn't have been too much of a project except, I was still in school.  I was in the musical practicing every night of the school week, track was about to start in another week,  I was a senior, trying to figure out my college plans, and planning my graduation party.   Needless to say, I didn't get a whole lot accomplished before school let out.  We hit the planning hard in June and everything came together for a perfect July 16th wedding.  Every bride has a regret of some sort about their wedding, I was told, something that went wrong or that they would change.  Looking back the day after, and now a month after, I still can't come up with anything!  The day was smooth and a beautiful celebration.  James and I had the time of our lives and would easily relive that day.  The wedding couldn't have happened without all the friends and family that was a major help in preparations.  From setting up, to making corsages, to all the food, to great music, it was all without stress from me.  It is so awesome to have that kind of support surrounding me.