That Big Old Bean

I realize it's December, and Halloween seems like it was forever ago. (Yeah right, it was practically yesterday. Did we skip November this year? Somehow I missed it.) Here's what we've been up to since then. 

This was the first year we attended Scare the Square in Aurora. It happens a couple days before Halloween. All the business owners pass out candy as you walk around the square. I'm telling you, this is the LAZIEST way to Trick or Treat, and it was wonderful! It's kind of like a one-and-done type of thing. I felt no shame in only visiting 4 houses on Halloween night, because we had already done enough damage for one year. Between this and a couple houses in Stockham, I might never have to set foot in a packed neighborhood of strangers on Halloween night for the rest of my life. Hallelujah. 

It seemed fitting that Trevin dressed up as a fisherman this year. His costume summarized his entire summer. Seriously, I think they went fishing every week. Naturally he felt right at home with his pole and net. Also you might notice that he is wearing exactly what he wore last year for Halloween, except with a change in accessories. (Remember our bearded lumberjack?) Some may call this type of parenting "lazy" but I call it resourceful. 

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It was IKEA time again. Apparently this has to be an annual thing, because none of us can stop. And let's be honest, once a year doesn't classify us as "crazy IKEA ladies." Or maybe it does. We made several extra stops on the drive because two of us are pregnant, another one is nursing and the other forgot everything at home. There are worse things in life than prolonging a trip with your best friends. 

It's always a great time with these cuties. We came home with a car-load; didn't even have to use the ratchet straps from last year! I love creating memories with these people and so grateful to have them all close to home. 

With all the craziness at the checkout line, I literally didn't even look at my total. When we loaded up the car I was informed of my total. Nicole caught my reaction. Priceless. I couldn't say the same for my my IKEA findings... But I didn't get in trouble when I got home, so we're good. 

We celebrated my grandma's birthday with a trip to Fuji. And they took care of her eyebrows free of charge. 

It was our 10th annual Kliewer Bunco party! Everyone showed off their best vintage chic appearance to help enjoy the theme. These ladies sure know how to have a good time. 

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We've missed Chicago since we last visited 3 years ago, but more importantly, the people we left there. So we planned a long weekend visit, leaving on a Thursday morning and returning home Monday. 

Trevin is hot-blooded and had his shirt off for most of the trip. His new favorite song is Speak Life by Toby Mac, he requested to have it on repeat for the first hour of the trip. He actually thought it was called Speed Light, so that was funny for the first 5 times through the song. 

Trevin was a trooper on the 9-hour drive. A lot of books, toys and movies to keep him busy. I, on the other hand, had to stop to pee every other hour. James was not impressed. This baby-influenced bladder is no joke. 

We stayed with James' cousin, Chad, his wife, Amy, and their two children, Noah and Ruthie. Trevin and Ruthie bonded instantly and were almost inseparable all weekend. 

We did a lot of fun activities while we were there, but some of the best moments were spent tickling. 

We visited the famous Jarosch Bakery. James' family has been visiting this mom-and-pop shop for decades and we've indulged in their delicious creations several times when family comes from IL to the farm. We stocked up our freezer so we can enjoy sweet treats for months to come. Later we took Trevin to the Lego store to pick out some Christmas gifts. He asks me often, "Where did my helicopter legos go?" Already wrapped and under the tree, kid. 

Trevin managed a special cookie for "second breakfast". 

We spent a morning at Shedd Aquarium and walked a mile from there to downtown. Made a much-needed lunch stop at Giordano's for some classic Chicago deep-dish pizza. Visited the infamous "Bean" and walked along the water back to the Aquarium. It was a big day, but one I wish I could have on repeat. We managed to get a beautiful 60 degree day and enjoyed every second. 

We caught the dolphin show, too!

Walking downtown...

The Bean gets cooler every time. 

Amy and I snuck to IKEA late one night. (Don't you even judge me.) I'm convinced that I bring out the inner-shopper in Amy. I'm good for her. Another day, James and Chad took the kids to Cabela's while Amy and I hit a strip mall. Girl shopping time is good for the soul. 

One night we set up a "home theatre" in their basement and enjoyed a fun night in with the kids, somehow it ended in a nerf gun war. 

The Helms' actually live in a suburb of Chicago, called Palatine. It has much more of a small town feel and they bike or walk practically everywhere they go. Even in the winter. They are warriors. This was so different than our world because we have to drive 15 miles to get anywhere, besides Mimi's.  We enjoyed walking the kids to school on Friday and walking to an ice cream shop late one evening for dessert. It's much faster pace there, and we adjusted well to our slow life when we returned home. 

We couldn't have asked for a better weekend with these dear ones. We're slowly convincing them that they could move to Nebraska. Although, making these special trips to see them will always be some of our favorite memories. 

It took us several days to recover from that crazy weekend, but we can't wait to do it again!

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Thanksgiving 2015

We spent 5 days celebrating Thanksgiving, one evening with James' parents, one day with the Huenefeld's, one day with the Nuss', one day with my parents and one day watching the Husker game and Star Wars with James' cousins. After eating brick oven pizza Wednesday night with Paul and Dori, I vowed to not wear pants for the rest of the week/end. 17 weeks pregnant mixed with endless food equals disaster for my zipper and button. It was a lost cause and truthfully, just not worth it. Dresses and leggings for life. I put jeans on today because I felt like I needed to adult a little bit. 

-The ligament pain this time around is unreal. As long as I don't move, I'm good.

-Been feeling baby movement since late week 13. Been really irregular so far, mostly little "pops" 

-Hangry for days... 

-We find out the gender on Dec 23, James is convinced we'll leave it in the envelope and open it on Christmas. I'm convinced I have the patience of a 3-year-old and can't wait additional days... 

Also it's too cold to take pictures outside; I'm done. 

We're making more progress in the basement, pictures to come. Our church ladies' group is hosting a Christmas tour of homes this weekend, somehow I ended up on the itinerary. Quickly I've realized that EVERY SINGLE ROOM in my house needs paint. All of them. My whole house hasn't been cleaned since before we found out about baby. There's pencil marks on the wall, smudged windows, unfinished basement rooms, and lights missing fixtures... But guess what? I'm letting them in anyway. None of those things will magically be fixed before Saturday, but my heart can still be hospitable even if my house isn't perfect. I love having people into our home and hope they can feel at home here, even with our evidence of "life" all around. 

Our journey to Chicago and back, growing on the farm... 

Just Call Me Taz.

This space is being used for the first time since we've lived here. Countless hours have been poured into this room and we're finally benefiting from our effort. Do you remember when it looked like this? 

We've been having people over every chance we get, even in the midst of harvest. I've literally told people to come over if they're needing a place, even when we're not home. Seriously come over, it's too nice for us not to share. 

This was our first night with carpet and furniture, so we celebrated with our friends. 

We've still got a long ways to go. Furniture to make, purchase, and refinish, decor to arrange, and more painting. Most of which will be on hold now that we're making room for baby. 

We've been busy farming like it's our job. We wrapped up harvest last week and now we're looking forward to slowing things down and enjoying time together. 

I ran down the road after them to get this picture. Moments like this are worth it. 

There's no way I could be sad if we added another boy to this picture.

You can't tell where the corn stops and his hair starts. "Mom it matches!" 

I'm truly grateful for farm life. Trevin has spent many hours with James in the tractor and it's been fun to watch their bond grow as they work together growing crops.  

All of my family got together a couple weeks ago to get some Christmas card pictures. 

And I was lucky enough to take engagement pictures for my brother and his soon-to-be bride, Kristin!

They said they only wanted 3 good ones. I told them they chose the wrong person; I'm known to take way more than I ever need. I'm still editing their shoot. They were good sports and even posed weird just for me.

Fall days are some of the best days. 

Trevin's been busy farming and playing in the last couple weeks. 

-We started taking him to our Wednesday night activities at church, and he's loved it. 

-He continues to ask questions about the baby, "When is it coming?" "Do we get to keep it?" "Is it a boy?" "Can I play with it?" 

-As I was dancing with him one evening in the kitchen, he grinned at me and said, "Mom, are I handsome?" He melts me. I whispered to him, "You are the most handsome." 

-While walking through JC Penny's we walked past the bra section and he noted, "Ooo those are pretty! Mom, you have those at home!" Yes, yes I do. So that happened. 

We were able to spend an evening with our sweet friends, the Bartek's! Alyssa has always wanted to "make the blog" so I had to make sure I included our fun time at the park. ;) Trevin is now obsessed with being a pirate-robot. 

These two crack me up. They are the best of friends and always enjoy their time together. 

James taught Trevin how to play checkers. Somehow they ended up without shirts and now Trevin thinks that's part of the game. Gotta play shirtless. For your information, I don't play checkers anymore.

Ashton gave Trevin her old point-and-shoot camera. He's been hilarious with it and I've added a few of his photos for all of you to enjoy. My biggest laugh of the day comes when I check the camera after he goes to bed to see all the pictures he's taken. He's got quite an eye for it. If you can't tell, I'm rolling laughing. 

 It's been hysterical listening to him "pose" people. It's obvious where he's picked up on that. "Mom. Mom. Look here, mom. Mom, look at the camera. Ok, now smile. Let's go to the kitchen and take one. Mom, look. Mom, look at the camera. Ok, now stand right there. And hold this. Oh that's a nice one!" 

The Good, the Bad, and the Baby

I'm not really sure how to do this. Should I just say it? Or do I need to tell a long story? Maybe just show you a picture? Sing you a song? Ok, I'll just say it... I'M PREGNANT! 

This has been an unexpected journey. Just a couple months ago, I was adamant I was not ready for another baby. I was starting to come around to the idea as the summer went on. But you all know how much Travel Camp changed me. I came home with a complete peace about what was next for us. God reaffirmed that peace when I became pregnant just a few weeks later. 

 My first inclination that I was pregnant came the day I took a pregnancy test. I had hopped in the shower and turned on Pandora. Gary Allan's Tough Little Boys Grow up to be Dads song came on and I instantly started bawling. After the emotional wave passed, I thought to myself, "That was weird. I'm not normally like this. Am I?" And then I just knew. One of my biggest pregnancy symptoms with Trevin was emotional break downs. It seemed all too familiar. The test was taken and once again the tears swept over me, but these were some of the happiest tears I've ever cried. 

I took the test by myself on a Thursday night (unlike last time when James and I did it together). And I decided to keep it from James, because I was due to leave for Women of Faith the next day and be gone all weekend. It just didn't feel right to tell him and leave. So I kept my big secret all to myself for a whole weekend. I about burst. You might recall I forgot the tickets and my underwear that weekend... Does it make more sense now? I was a little preoccupied and brain cells had already died. It wasn't all my fault. 

I returned home Saturday night and sat James down and said, "I need to talk to you. Something very expensive happened." He looked at me, trying to read my eyes. I pulled out the positive test. He grinned and said, "Are you serious?" We were equally excited and later he said, "I thought you wrecked the car, or bought something you shouldn't have." Nope babe, it'll cost more than that... 

We told Trevin right away (this would bite us later). He seemed to somewhat grasp what was going on, but then he showed his 3-year-old logic and said, "The baby's in your tummy like Uzziah's in my tummy!" Almost bud, almost. We then told some close friends within the next couple days. Obviously, Ashton was one of the first. That would have been the hardest to keep, considering the fact that she lives with us and all. We planned to tell the rest of our immediate family all in one weekend. We'd been coaching Trevin to say, "I'm going to be a big brother!" So that he could take the stage when the time came. The Wednesday night before we had planned to tell my parents, Trevin and I had stopped by to see them after church. Trevin got to chatting and started talking about the picture of the baby (him) on the wall. I knew it right then; our secret was in jeopardy. His eyes lit up and just like we'd rehearsed, he proudly announced, "Mom has a baby in her tummy. I'm going to be a big brother!" My jaw dropped. My parents squealed. I realized there was no brushing over that. They thanked him for sharing the news. If I only learn one thing this pregnancy, it's that a 3-year-old is not the greatest confidant. Go figure. Both of our families' are very excited for us, and we enjoyed bringing them all a little joy. 

I'm 8 weeks and our official due date is May 8. Some of you will probably be shocked that we are telling so early. I've realized that there's this strange energy that goes along with announcing before the second trimester. I gather that the fear is miscarrying. That's a legitimate fear that I can absolutely respect. Most people don't want to have to share their loss, rehash the pain by telling everyone they've lost the baby, or include others before they're "in the clear". I respect that. But I'm not like everyone else. If I would have lost the baby at 4 weeks, or if I would lose it at 16 weeks, I would tell, I would want people to know. I would write it. Believe it or not, writing is one of the best ways for me to be free of things. I hope that I'm being respectful of those who have been there. I can't fathom the pain and loss that goes with it, but I know that I would self-destruct if no one knew. (Not saying that anyone else would.) My heart has been so broken this year for several dear friends losing babies before they got to hold them. I've seen first-hand the absolute devastation that comes with it. But I've also seen the healing and the peace that follows. This year I've challenged myself to live with transparency. I want people to see my life. I don't want to hide behind a profile picture. I want to be a real person, flaws and all. Y'all are my support system. I want you in this, good or bad. 

Once we told family, we were ready for it to be out. Heck, even our butcher knows. So spread the word, keep us in your prayers, and love on those mamas that have lost babes. 

It's true what they say. Second baby shows earlier than the first. My stomach, which held so tightly for the first several months of my last pregnancy, has already thrown in the towel. Since almost day 1 it's said, "Alright ladies, we know what to do. Let loose!" And at 8 weeks I'm equivalent to what I was at 14 weeks on the first go-around. What?! I've already retired a pair of jeans. At 8 weeks. I'm promising myself that I won't gain the (cough) 50 (cough) pounds like last time. But this quick growth has me sweating. Literally. Hot flashes. Isn't pregnancy glamorous? When I was 5 weeks, James told me that I had "the glow". Unfortunately for me, I got the glow at 5 weeks, not at 35. By then I'll be the hippo that looks as miserable as she feels. 

No morning sickness here so far (didn't have it with Trevin either). Not trying to rub it in... I've been extremely tired, but I'll take that over the sickness any day. My gag reflex is getting a lot of action these days, though. That's a great time. And you know, if I gag once, I might as well gag 11 times. 

We had our appointment last week and everything looks great! I questioned my doc about my cervix (it tore with Trevin, and there was concern that the scar tissue would prohibit me from delivering naturally again) but she seemed confident that it wouldn't be an issue. She did tell me, however, that I'm likely to have more tail bone issues. (He popped my coccyx out of place and fractured my tail bone. I try not to remember that.. Ouch.) 

Somehow 4 days after we found out I was pregnant, we had our names picked out. So that's one thing to check off the list! We have a long time to change our minds, but we're in agreement and happy, so we'll see. With Trevin, I never had a feeling whether boy or girl. I really don't with this one either, but I had the most vivid dream the other day (yeah, day, it was a nap) of a precious baby girl, we even named her. I can still see her in my head. It was so strange, but that's the only feeling I've had so far. 

We're incredibly grateful and look forward to adding to our family. We figure the second one's got to be easier, right? (This is when you all laugh.) Thanks for all of your love! 

This is our happy dance for baby!

+1, growing on the farm...